Harboring Pain

   Forgiveness is for you, not for your offender.




Nasty Gal Dress (Old) // H&M Button down (old) // Banana Republic Desiree Pumps (on Sale)

Just a little disclaimer, I usually write these particular kind of posts when there’s either a burden on my heart, a lesson I learned that I want to share, or when God instructs me to do so…

Since January I have been thinking about factors that hold me back from reaching my full potential and from fulfilling my purpose/reaching my destiny. I received revelation on a few things but the most important thing for me was my unforgiving spirit and lack of trust in GOD.

Everyone likes to think very highly of themselves. Accepting your personality flaws and character blemishes is truly a hard pill to swallow. For instance, I never wanted to believe that I’m impatient, ill-tempered, and selfish. Even more so, I had a hard time accepting my unforgiving spirit. I won’t get into the controversial definition of forgiveness in this post; but I will say this: YOU HAVE NOT FORGIVEN SOMEONE YOU CANNOT LOVE! Love is an action word. It has little to do with feelings and security.

From a Christian perspective, we are doing a terrible job at forgiving people. Like truly forgiving people. And if we took the time out to communicate with each other about our hurt, pain, and offenses, we would realize how completely stupid our inability to forgive is.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:15-17, ““Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’[a] 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

We are too quick to cut off people who offend us. Jesus calls us to make 3 attempts to save our relationships with people before writing them off. And when you think about it, 3 attempts is more than enough. Many of our issues with people can be solved after we approach them about their faults. How often has it been the case that upon discussing an issue with a brother or sister, we realize that the problem was all based on a misunderstanding? Or even better, the person didn’t even know you were offended, and quickly apologized?

Now this demand by Jesus should not be confused for forgiveness. You will find in that same chapter (Matthew 18:21-22), where the disciple Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive people who sin against him. “Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” And this instruction was PER DAY. So Jesus commands us to forgive our brothers and sisters 490 times PER DAY! You tell me, who will offend you that many times in one day? That’s over 20 offenses per hour lol.

I know forgiveness is tough. It is allowing someone to potentially hurt you again. I battle this every single day. People who say mean things about you, betray you, steal from you, borrow from you and never pay you back, steal your man, lol…the list goes on. But forgiveness is for you! It allows you to release hate from your heart, making more room for love. Forgiveness is a selfish act. It has very little to do with the offender and everything to do with you! And after all, how many times have you offended Jesus? Yet He still loves and forgives you! Don’t ever take His love for granted by overlooking it. The best way to ensure forgiveness from the Master is to forgive others.

Forgive those who offend you today and release your heart from prison.

God bless you!



  1. February 22, 2016 / 10:59 am

    And God bless you love. Beautiful look and message.

  2. February 22, 2016 / 9:00 pm

    I agree that we are sometimes too quick to cut off those that have offended us, but it really depends on the offense.

    I’ll echo the other commenter in saying this is a great look and message!

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