Testimony Tuesday: In regards to the Flesh


That one time I dated a man who was 4 feet 11 inches and I didn’t even know…



 Dress c/o Shein (size medium) // Sunnies via street vendor in Union Square (but love these)

Five years ago, back when I lived in Philly, I used to take the city bus to work. I’d take the 7:22am bus and that became routine. The bus driver for my 7:22am bus was the same everyday- this very attractive dark skinned, clean cut man. (For those of you familiar with black men in Philly, clean cut rarely happens). What started as casual routine bus rides, turned into mini conversations between me and this driver. I’d hop on the bus every morning, stand behind the white line, and hold conversations with him about every and anything. After some time, he allowed me to ride the bus free of charge. I knew that if I wanted to ride the bus for free and see this handsome young man every day, I needed to be up and ready to leave my house by 7:20am. Some days, I’d miss the bus; but we quickly settled the matter by exchanging numbers. He’d text me 5 minutes before reaching my stop and if I wasn’t ready, I’d tell him to lower his speed and buy me more time. Because I wasn’t the only person that routinely took this bus, other passengers started to notice the preferential treatment so he suggested I drop a nickel in the bus slot instead of my token so that it didn’t look like I was riding for free. (Yes- the city of Philadelphia was still using tokens in 2011. Pathetic, I know.)

The bus driver and I ( cannot actually remember his name lol) made plans to go on a date one night. This would be my first time seeing him out of uniform and in his element. So excited about our date, I decided to get my hair done and buy a nice outfit. Later that evening when he arrived at my house, he texted me and told me to come out to his truck. He arrived in a very large SUV and my immediate thoughts were “Okay, perhaps he likes big cars. Big buses, big trucks?” This bus driver wasn’t chivalrous enough to open the door for me, so I hopped in his truck in my heels and we left for our first date. As we arrived at the restaurant, we get out of the car and he waits for me to meet him by the driver side that so we can walk in together. To my surprise, bus driver was standing at 4 feet 11 inches. How?????? Wait. Nah. Am I being cat fished? Do you mean to tell me that I completely missed this man’s trumped height all those times we had conversations on the bus? Was I so engrossed in our conversations that I forgot to scan his body composition.

If you’re wondering how the date went, I wouldn’t know because I had a friend rescue me via text and get me out of the restaurant. Terrible, I know. I stopped replying to his calls and stopped taking the 7:22 am bus to work. I think he got the point fairly quickly. I was not comfortable dating a man who stood under 5 feet, while I stand at 5 feet 3 inches. No can’t do.

As a Christian, was I allowed to be so vain? This past Sunday during bible study, we discussed 2 Corinthians 5, and how Apostle Paul instructs us not to regard the flesh. “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.” (2 Corinthians 5:16) This bus driver could have had a heart full of gold, and I’d never know because I was too concerned with his flesh. As Christians, we are to look at people not as the world looks at them, but with a holy indifference. Apostle says that we once looked at Christ this way but now we do no longer.

It is not even God’s will  that we should desire the flesh of Jesus; but rather have intimacy and affection with His spiritual presence. That’s why it’s a form of idolatry to worship any image of Christ. In John 20:29, “Jesus said unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” In the same token, Christians are not supposed to regard the flesh. For if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away and new things have come. So be sure to look for Christ in people; and don’t be engulfed with their fleshly, sinful nature. God has reconciled us back to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has also given us the ministry of reconciliation. Therefore, we should be getting the world reconciled to God through, our Savior Jesus Christ.

Some people are short, some people are tall. Some are bald, some have plenty of hair. But we shouldn’t be distracted by these things. Sometimes, the most physically unattractive people, are those with the biggest hearts. This post isn’t to suggest you do away with your preferences. Preferences are good. But if you aren’t giving someone a chance in life because of their fleshly appearance, you are only doing an injustice to yourself.

Hope you enjoyed today’s post. I’ll be sharing my testimonies every Tuesday!

God bless you!




  1. Debbie
    August 9, 2016 / 3:12 pm

    This message though!! It was as if you were speaking directly to me. It could be that I was brought up that way – in a Ghanaian community everyone is scanning each other at events to see who is the best dressed or has the most recent designer bag. Thankfully, working in the city and attending a nondenominational church has helped me to judge people by their character and not outer appearance. You could be dating the most handsome guy, but what would it matter if he treated you horribly? Looks fade, but the heart is pure. Great message ! Love love love your blogs !

  2. Ada_ugo
    August 9, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    It’s more difficult than we realise to know that “Thy Will be done” extends to relationships as well. Why don’t we have the faith that if that person is God’s will, then we would eventually find them attractive, eventually sort out the finances, eventually communicate better with them, eventually overcome tribal and racial boundaries, etcetera? No, we want to sort out all the kinks by ourselves. May God’s Grace continue to be sufficient for us!
    Lovely dress, I especially like that the back isn’t too open.

    • August 10, 2016 / 9:09 am

      Amen Ada! On the other side of the token, we sometimes lack faith that God can certainly give us all our heart’s desires… which includes the man or woman of our dreams…. but we serve a God of principle. And there are principles that we sometimes forget to have!

      Thank you for your continued support, sis x

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