Testimony Tuesday: How Do You Know He’s the One

The number one question I get asked concerning my relationship.

Edward Gebel Photography


Top: Diane von Furstenberg (size 4) ; Trousers: J. Crew (old; try these) ; Shoes: Balenciaga

Since the news of my engagement, I often get asked by Christian women how I knew Eric was the one I’d marry. The question is quite loaded, and can’t really be explained in a few sentences. So I decided to share my PERSONAL experience and how I came to experience peace with Eric as my future husband.

From the onset of our relationship, I knew Eric was different. I mean, he just was. And if anyone can testify about the differences in men, it’s certainly me. I’ve dated quite a few men so it wasn’t difficult for me to observe unique character traits in them. Eric always had the most pure of intentions for me. I never once questioned whether he had ill intentions for me. This isn’t to say I immediately knew he was husband material; but at least I always knew he didn’t come with ulterior motives.

In the beginning, neither one of us set out to “court” each other. The first year of our relationship was purely without motive. Eric never officially asked me to be his girlfriend; but it was very clear to the both of us that we were dating. During that year, we couldn’t seem to operate smoothly. We both cared deeply for each other, but there were clear, yet minimal differences in the way we operated with each other. Dating long distantly didn’t seem to help either.And if I may (babe), I really think the issue was we DATED WITHOUT PURPOSE.

But the moment we BOTH decided to court the Christian way (ie. get our families/leaders involved), and create a goal- to court with the intent to marry, life got easier. Eric and I flowed so beautifully, regardless of distance. We both had a mutual understanding of the end goal – MARRIAGE- so we worked on our relationship through prayer, communication and sacrifice.

While I didn’t directly ask God whether or not Eric was my husband, I did ask the Lord to remove peace from our relationship if this wasn’t His will. I also asked God to show me if Eric would be a good husband for me by the way our families interacted with us. Eric literally communicates with my parents like they’re his own. And Eric’s parents love me like they birthed me. I knew what good husbands looked like based on the Scriptures, so all I had to do was match his characteristics to those of a husband in the Bible. At that point, I knew I had the green light to take our relationship to the next level.

It also helped to know who I was and what purpose God had for me in this world; where I fell short, and what characteristics in a man would really compliment me. With that information, I created my “list.” Knowing what I wanted in a husband served as a blueprint and checklist for me. I looked out for key traits and characteristics that were my non-negotiable’s and found those in Eric.

Before Eric came in the picture, I took my list to God in prayer. As I prayed to God, I let Him refine my list and reveal to me my shortcomings. He showed me what characteristics in a man would be to my benefit, and also what characteristics in myself could potentially destroy my future marriage. With those revelations in mind, it didn’t take long for me to know that Eric is the one. Plus he’s fine as hell with his chocolate self and I want chocolate babies sooooo…

I hope my personal story has helped you!

In summary, if you want to know whether he/she is the one, answer the following:

  1. What purpose does marriage serve? Can you achieve that purpose with said person?
  2. What are the biblical descriptions of a good man AND husband?
  3. What are the biblical descriptions of a good woman AND wife?
  4. What characteristics do you personally want in a man? (Does it align with scriptures?)
  5. What is your purpose in life? Destiny? Can you get there with said person?
  6. Do you have peace?
  7. Does your family agree? Church elders? His family?
  8. Have you asked God if this is His Will?






  1. Betty
    April 10, 2018 / 12:10 pm

    Thanks a lot Chris, God bless you Even more. You are one of a kind, May you continue to grow in the Lord and may he bless you with godly counsel continually.

  2. April 10, 2018 / 3:03 pm

    That “do you have peace” question really got me, I’m at that point now where I’m desperately seeking God’s will in this. Thanks for sharing your story. I believe it’s different for everyone when it comes to knowing the One but peace is always a common factor.

    Princess Audu

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