Testimony Tuesday: One of the Most Valuable Lessons I Learned During My Wedding Planning Season

The most frustrating part about my entire wedding season was learning the lesson God orchestrated for me to learn.


Jacket: H&MSkirt: H&M ; Shoes: Zara (old) ; Bag: Las Bovedas in Cartegena, Colombia

“You may be able to give a testimony regarding your sanctification, but what about the thing that is a humiliation to you right now?” – Oswald Chambers

The above quote is what is inspiring my completion of this blog post. It’s been the hardest one to right since my post about quitting blogging 2 years ago. But for what it’s worth, here it goes…

If you’ve missed me as much as I missed blogging, then it’s safe to say that this post is long overdue. As you may already know, I’ve been quite busy with wedding planning but I’m glad the process is over and I can resume with blog posts like normal.

If you’re familiar with Ghanaian culture, then you’d understand why I had two weddings (more on this in future posts). While both were stressful to plan, they were both as beautiful as I imagined them to be.  However, I learned a humiliating lesson during this wedding season- I completely and totally lack the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5)

To go even deeper, the Holy Spirit has been showing me that I need to build my character to resemble that of Jesus Christ’s.

If you’ve ever planned or had a wedding, then you know how difficult of a time it can be. Add a traditional wedding into the equation, then you’re more than likely going to experience a great deal of stress. Words are often shared haphazardly, leading to an overwhelming amount of emotions, loss of relationships and friendships. And these can all  take place at the expense of a intended joyous time.

I think the underlying assumption for most brides is that everyone has their best interest at heart. And the reality is that everyone does not. Some people are really butt- hurt by your union to your spouse. Some are envious of your happiness- or perceived happiness. And some people are just flat out selfish. Whatever the case, the Lord being so good used this season to bring to my attention a character flaw that I urgently need to work on: my disrespectful nature. He used the offense of relatives and friends to humiliate me. Although, the humiliation wasn’t public. It was in my spirit.

What I’ve now found is that when I’m on the mountain top- which is synonymous  to the moments I’m around believers, living my best life, in church fellowship, and for the moments when I’m not being offended- I can demonstrate this artificial fruit of the spirit. I can show you that I belong to Jesus and that I’m sweetest Christian girl around town.

However, when I descend that mountain, and reach the valleys- synonymous to the trials of life, being around unbelievers, having my character questioned, becoming offended- that’s when I prove that my flesh is far more stronger than my spirit and that I don’t have the fruit of the Spirit after all ( you cannot have one fruit of the Spirit without the other, btw). The valley experience, which should confirm that I am of Christ, and that I operate in the Will of my Father, has actually continuously proven otherwise. And it’s quite humiliating.

When the cameras are up, and the microphone is on, and the sun is shining, that is when you see the glory of God over my life. But when I’m lead into the darkness of the valleys, and the cameras are no longer rolling, and my pastors aren’t in close proximity, I let my flesh rear its ugly head. When you place me around unbelieving friends who like to gossip,  you’ll see me participate. When offense comes, you’ll see the clap back.

I’ve come to realize that whatever the Holy Spirit brings to the forefront of my mind, and no matter how big or small I might consider it, it is urgent and should be dealt with immediately. My entire week’s devotion led me to this confession. As many times as I’ve tried to avoid it, I had to accept that obedience to God is far more important than any humiliation towards myself. That when the Holy Spirit reveals sin in my life,  it’s not enough to only admit to it, but to also confess it. And through confession, I receive the grace and forgiveness of God.

Also, God can and will use people you don’t like, and people you are offended by to reveal areas of your life you need to work on. Never mind what the offense is- if you’re response towards offense isn’t the way God wants you to respond, He will deal personally with YOU. You don’t get the satisfaction of knowing how He’ll deal with the other person. In that exact moment, He wants us to concern ourselves with the speck in our own eyes .

So to bring this long post together somehow, what I will say is BE SENSITIVE. Sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, no matter how weak or strong they are. Build your character in the valleys much more than on the mountain tops. Pass the tests the Lord allows you to go through, otherwise you’ll just keep going through them. And if you’re planning a wedding- literally seal your mouth shut if need be. Folks are on edge just WAITING to criticize you, lol.

I’m glad to be back. Share some love, thoughts, comments down below!




  1. October 2, 2018 / 3:09 pm

    I really enjoyed this post! Transparency helps bring deliverance. And you are absolutely right, “you can’t have one fruit without having the other”. It’s called “fruit” not fruits for a reason. Thanks for sharing your story. I, too, have found myself working on my character more and more, these days! ❤️

  2. October 2, 2018 / 3:50 pm

    Yassssss Lord. Thanks for sharing sis. I definitely need to learn to be more sensitive. Cause wooooo being in an office with multiple people, the gossip is on going, but I pray the Spirit will shut my mouth to not partake.

  3. October 2, 2018 / 3:59 pm

    Wow. What an excellent post sis. Thank you for being willing and vulnerable enough to share such a raw and open part of your spiritual journey with us. We as believers should continually strive to bear fruit that remains, however the fact of the matter is that it won’t happen without the 9 mentioned in galatians.

    Glad you’re back!!! We missed you!

  4. October 2, 2018 / 4:07 pm

    Totally agree that God uses people you don’t like to show you things about yourself!

  5. Sandra Yamba
    October 2, 2018 / 4:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing with us. I found myself working more on character as well. God want us to be obedient to his word and really live that Christian life we show in church even outside the church.

  6. Franny
    October 2, 2018 / 5:40 pm

    This was real!! Thanks for your transparency. You are absolutely right. We don’t have to know how God deals with others. Our focus is to worry about the speck in our own eye.
    Thanks again

  7. Mich A
    October 2, 2018 / 8:03 pm

    Awesome post.

    Something I can sure relate to in this particular season of my life in which God has been revealing to me my “ugly.” When the Holy Spirit deals with our fleshy nature, it’s definitely NOT fun and as you described…can feel very humiliating! However, surrending ourselves completely to God for him to change us and mould us into the likeness of Jesus, is a beautiful life-changing process that I wouldn’t trade anything for!

  8. Zoe
    October 3, 2018 / 12:36 am

    Wow! This post is just on point! I have been struggling with this and I am going through the process. Holyspirit loves to check m, he really does and sometimes I act like nah not today and he keeps pressing on my heart until I totally surrender! Loved this post

  9. October 3, 2018 / 9:22 am

    This was very important to share. I am LITERALLY going through this exact same lesson. God had to humble and humiliate me in the spirit. Ohhhhh Lord. Thank you for allowing others to see the rawness of the Christian life and the importance of passing these tests. God bless you!

  10. October 3, 2018 / 9:25 am

    Absolutely loved this post! Being sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit is key to growth! Thanks for sharing this!

  11. chee
    October 3, 2018 / 11:00 am

    may God bless you a thousand time for this timely post. currently 2 weeks ago from my wedding and I have failed plenty tests. Glad that its never too late for God to convict you somehow, some way.

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