If you’re currently dealing with a broken heart, this post is for you.
Having to endure heart break is no easy feat. As a woman who knows a thing or seven about heart break, I understand how draining and frustrating this point in your life can be. Heart break is debilitating and paralyzing- it puts constraints on you and prohibits you from successfully completing anything.
Heart break can impact you in so many negative ways but after all of the heart break I’ve endured, I’ve realize that heart break, more often than not, is ordained by God. It’s one of the ways He gets you to draw closer to Him, to walk with Him, to see Him as your Comforter. God uses heart break to reveal the plans He has for you, to remove things from you that don’t belong, and to usher you into your destiny.
When it comes to heart break, having the proper perspective is of utmost importance. If you approach your situation from a “why me” angle, you’ll fail to see how your heart break is ordained by God. Although God does not plan for us to suffer, He does in His Sovereignty allow us to go throw things in life to refine us.
I often speak about the heart breaks that I’ve endured because God has used those trying times to draw closer to me, and to purify me. I remember the time that my ex- boyfriend with whom I lived with in the Philly area, decided he no longer wanted to be with me. After having an argument the night before, I packed all of my things and made him drive me to work the next morning. What I thought would be one day of much needed space, turned to be months of depression.
I called and texted him what seemed to be a million times, and he ignored them all. He didn’t even tell me that he wanted to end the relationship, he simply ignored my texts and calls. My heart was so broken that it forced me to move back in with my parents in NYC. Although I couldn’t understand what I did to deserve such disrespect and abuse, I now understand that God allowed this to happen in order for me to draw closer to Him.
Even though I wanted nothing to do with the world at that point, I found myself attending a local church in my neighborhood. While I didn’t know much about God, I do remember someone telling me that God was near to the broken- hearted. So I concluded that maybe if I came to church with my broken heart, God would help me to heal…. This ended up being the best decision I could have ever made.
(I’ll share the rest of this story, among other stories in my book Forbidden Fruit)
Are you currently experiencing heart break? Here is a list of things you need to do now in order to be mended:
- Get God’s understanding about your situation. Whether the cause of the heart break was your fault or not, recognize that you shouldn’t trust your own understanding about things. Regardless of what you’re going through, you can trust that God is with you every step of the way. He’s not surprised or taken aback by anything you’re dealing with.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3: 5-6)
- Be still in front of man, but honest and loud with God about what you’re going through. Heart break has the capability to but should NOT be debilitating. God is waiting for you to simply be honest with Him about your feelings, and to ask Him to mend your broken heart.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. (Psalm 51:17)
- Detach yourself from any and everything that reminds you of the person who broke your heart – sappy songs, photos, gifts, relatives of person, etc. We often like to waddle in our broken heart mess. But that only delays our healing. Refuse sad music; listen to uplifting hymns and songs of praises. Don’t take a trip down text message memory lane. Delete every photo and conversation thread with the person who broke your heart. Choose your healing before anything else. Cut off all communication.
Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26: 41)
- Get involved in a church ministry. Attend weekly bible study meetings. Fill up your time with things that draw you closer to God and knowing His will for your life. Refuse to stay home in misery. Meeting with other people who can encourage and uplift you is God’s will for you during this season. Isolation as a result of heart break is what the enemy wants for you.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10: 24-25)
- Let God have His perfect work done in you. Don’t rush into another relationship. Rebounds do not help you get over heart break; they only delay your healing and further aide in your bitterness. Don’t rush that plan of God over your life. Take your time to enjoy your singleness and learn as much as you can about yourself and about God.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1: 4-8)
I hope this post was a blessing to you, share your thoughts down below.
WHAT I’M WEARING:
Coat: Banana Republic x Olivia Palermo (old; try this) ; Plaid Shirt: J. Crew (try this) ; Turtleneck: Zara ; Jeans: Zara ; Watch: c/o Michele ; Shoes: Banana Republic (try this) ; Necklace: via Goodwill