Testimony Tuesday: Last Year Was the LAST Year Of…

Wasted relationships and extended heart break.

Edward Gebel Photography


Coat: Forever 21 (sold out) ; Sweater: J.Crew (on sale) ; Shirt: Banana Republic (old) ; Jeans: GAPShoes: Banana Republic (old ; but similar)

In the last week of 2018, I had conversations with 3 different people who sought for my advice concerning their failing relationships. I could tell they all wanted me to tell them what to do but I didn’t. Instead, I told them stories of my own experiences. I really felt like Jesus while telling parables.

Unless you’re a downright pessimist, with such deep ingrained misery you can’t even look forward to an additional year of life, you’re probably excited to have seen 2019. According to Wikipedia, 13 “notable” people died on December 31, 2018. Now we all know this number isn’t accurate; it’s more likely a greater number. But what is important is that you’re reading this and that you’re not among those listed. Congratulations. We made it to 2019!

Now if you’re looking for your significant other to marry this year, your 2018 probably consisted of failed relationships or singleness. And if you’re agreeing with this, than you’re also probably hoping and praying 2019 doesn’t look anything like 2018. And it won’t- unless you make the same mistakes you made last year.

Relationship counseling isn’t my thing. But lifestyle blogging is. And as a lifestyle blogger, I often share my personal testimonies and life stories of how,  by the grace of God, I overcame stuff. Part of that “stuff” are failed relationships! As someone who has dated a few unworthy cats, I think I have a bit to say on this topic.

The first thing I’d suggest is to  (1) desire a relationship with God. I truly believe the moment I stopped desiring natural relationships that didn’t profit anything spiritually, that was when spiritual relationships started forming. I allowed God to show me who I was at the moment, what I needed to change, and what characteristics should be ones I can’t compromise one. I stopped blaming men for my broken heart, and started accepting responsibility for not knowing my worth.

(2) Be very assertive about what you want and do not want. If your assertiveness chases men away, they are not for you. Applying assertion from the beginning to the end of your relationship is so important because it not only makes clear your intent in the relationship, it exposes much needed boundaries. If you cannot tell a man that you are not a girlfriend, but a wife. If you cannot tell a man that you will not have sex before marriage, If you cannot ask a man in the beginning what his intentions are in getting to know you, then you’re starting off on the wrong foot. If you’re worried abut scaring the man away, chances are you are going to be susceptible to settling for the sake of love. And settling isn’t what God wants for you.

(3) Forgive and delete your exes. If there is no room for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in your future marriage, there shouldn’t be any room for them now. However they hurt you in the past should no longer affect you. Release them from your heart, and phone contacts and focus on your future. Trust me you’ll save yourself a great deal of stress if you do it before you meet your husband/wife. Keeping those soul ties for too long delays everything God has in store for you this year.

It’s a new year, and a new opportunity to learn from the mistakes of 2018. Whatever you’re desiring this year can be yours if you focus and don’t succumb to the distractions of the enemy!

Let’s go get em, folks!



  1. January 8, 2019 / 9:33 am

    Currently working on step one – deepening my relationship with Christ above all, and accepting responsibility (although it’s a tough pill to swallow). I’m seeing so much growth by just being honest with God. Thank you for this post!

    • Christina Kwarteng
      January 28, 2019 / 9:53 pm

      Praise God!

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