So many things have changed, but these five things were the biggest!
WHAT I’M WEARING:
I’ve been married for over four months now, I guess that makes me an expert in marriage right? Well, not exactly but I have learned a great deal about myself and my partner.Let me preface this blog post by saying nobody can be 100% prepared for all the changes that come with marriage. However, I do believe prayer, wise counseling, and communication can get you as prepared as you will ever be. These are a few of the changes I’ve undergone since September 15, 2018.
Prior to marriage, my husband often jokingly called me a thug. I’ve never been one to show too many emotions in a relationship, and rarely did I like to kiss or be touched. I always joked that I’m not the mushy type, although I’ve always been extremely emotional. I don’t think my husband is much of the mushy type either, although he blames his lack of mushiness on me. Whether he is or he is not, I recognize that my husband actually likes when I’m mushy. And because he likes it, I’ve learned to like it too…to some degree. (I can only be mushy with my husband, not with family or friends so please don’t think I’ll start anytime soon folks). I’ve learned that as one flesh, we both must start enjoying the pleasures of each other, no matter how uncomfortable or uninteresting they may be in the beginning.
We both learned through counseling, that one flesh also meant shared accounts. After getting married, my husband and I starting sharing bank accounts and finances. We both know how much each other makes and don’t hide money matters with each other. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine. His financials wins and losses are my financial wins and losses, and vice versa.
My prayer life
If I prayed 15x a week before marriage, I now pray 30x a week post marriage. I find myself praying everywhere these days. I pray in the car, on the long cue in drug stores, and sometimes on the toilet and in the shower. As a married woman, I don’t have the liberty of living for myself anymore. I can’t neglect household responsibilities and the needs of my husband because I feel like basking in the presence of God. It seems quite easy to do so when you’re single, but it becomes quite the challenge while married. Spiritual women warned me of the difficulty of spending hours in God’s presence as a wife and/or mother. Because of this forewarning, I pray every single chance I get now- whether for 2 minutes, 20 minutes or more.
The topics of my prayers
I’ll admit the topics of my prayers were extremely vain before marriage. After all, I was living for only God. But now as a wife, I live also for my husband. I pray much more for his life, his health, his destiny and purpose than I do for mine. Now that my happiness is directly tied to the state of his being, I make sure I intercede for him daily. When in the car about to travel anywhere, I not only pray for traveling mercies for myself, but also for whenever my husband will get into a vehicle. I also pray a lot for our families, friends and loved ones (not excluding our future children.) I also pray for our enemies – fire from heaven on their heads. Nobody has time to entertain witches and wizards sent to cause confusion in our marriage. Repent or die is the approach I take in spiritual warfare.
For the last four months, my only real friend has been my husband. I didn’t cut off all of my old friends. I still love them all the same. (I don’t believe married folks shouldn’t befriend single folks. There are married people who think and behave far worse than the most childish single person you can think of. ) I physically just don’t have time to hang out and chat with friends as I used to. I use free days to spend time with my husband and work on our marriage. Although we live together, our work schedules differ so it can be tough to just spend a day to just bask in each other’s presence. We have to take advantage of every free hour and every day off we get.
These are some of the five things that have changed in my marriage. I understand that all marriages are not created equal, and everyone experiences different changes, but I think most Christian wives could agree on most of my changes as it comes with the marital territory.
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