Testimony Tuesday: 5 Things That Changed After I Got Married

So many things have changed, but these five things were the biggest!


Edward Gebel Photography

WHAT I’M WEARING:

Coat: Forever 21 (sold out; try this) ; Shirt: J. Crew (extra 70% off) ; Skirt: J. Crew  (on SALE) ; Shoes: c/o Brooks Brothers

I’ve been married for over four months now, I guess that makes me an expert in marriage right? Well, not exactly but I have learned a great deal about myself and my partner.Let me preface this blog post by saying nobody can be 100% prepared for all the changes that come with marriage. However, I do believe prayer, wise counseling, and communication can get you  as prepared as you will ever be. These are a few of the changes I’ve undergone since September 15, 2018.

My emotions

Prior to marriage, my husband often jokingly called me a thug. I’ve never been one to show too many emotions in a relationship, and rarely did I like to kiss or be touched. I always joked that I’m not the mushy type, although I’ve always been extremely emotional. I don’t think my husband is much of the mushy type either, although he blames his lack of mushiness on me. Whether he is or he is not, I recognize that my husband actually likes when I’m mushy. And because he likes it, I’ve learned to like it too…to some degree. (I can only be mushy with my husband, not with family or friends so please don’t think I’ll start anytime soon folks). I’ve learned that as one flesh, we both must start enjoying the pleasures of each other, no matter how uncomfortable or uninteresting they may be in the beginning.

My finances

We both learned through counseling, that one flesh also meant shared accounts. After getting married, my husband and I starting sharing bank accounts and finances. We both know how much each other makes and don’t hide money matters with each other. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine. His financials wins and losses are my financial wins and losses, and vice versa.

My prayer life

If I prayed 15x a week before marriage, I now pray 30x a week post marriage. I find myself praying everywhere these days. I pray in the car, on the long cue in drug stores, and sometimes on the toilet and in the shower. As a married woman, I don’t have the liberty of living for myself anymore. I can’t neglect household responsibilities and the needs of my husband because I feel like basking in the presence of God. It seems quite easy to do so when you’re single, but it becomes quite the challenge while married. Spiritual women warned me of the difficulty of spending hours in God’s presence as a wife and/or mother. Because of this forewarning, I pray every single chance I get now- whether for 2 minutes, 20 minutes or more.

The topics of my prayers

I’ll admit the topics of my prayers were extremely vain before marriage. After all, I was living for only God. But now as a wife, I live also for my husband. I pray much more for his life, his health, his destiny and purpose than I do for mine. Now that my happiness is directly tied to the state of his being, I make sure I intercede for him daily. When in the car about to travel anywhere, I not only pray for traveling mercies for myself, but also for whenever my husband will get into a vehicle. I also pray a lot for our families, friends and loved ones (not excluding our future children.) I also pray for our enemies – fire from heaven on their heads. Nobody has time to entertain witches and wizards sent to cause confusion in our marriage. Repent or die is the approach I take in spiritual warfare.

My friends

For the last four months, my only real friend has been my husband. I didn’t cut off all of my old friends. I still love them all the same. (I don’t believe married folks shouldn’t befriend single folks. There are married people who think and behave far worse than the most childish single person you can think of. ) I physically just don’t have time to hang out and chat with friends as I used to.  I use free days to spend time with my husband and work on our marriage. Although we live together, our work schedules differ so it can be tough to just spend a day to just bask in each other’s presence. We have to take advantage of every free hour and every day off we get.

These are some of the five things that have changed in my marriage. I understand that all marriages are not created equal, and everyone experiences different changes, but I think most Christian wives could agree on most of my changes as it comes with the marital territory.

If you enjoyed this post, show some love in the comments down below!

15 Comments

  1. January 22, 2019 / 12:12 pm

    I enjoyed reading this post, I also love the part of being intentional about being his best friend.
    Thanks for sharing.
    I can’t wait to share what 5 years of marriage has taught me soon.

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:52 pm

      You will soon !

  2. Mary
    January 22, 2019 / 12:33 pm

    I loved every part of this piece and hoping to learn more from you ☺️

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:51 pm

      Glory be to God

  3. January 22, 2019 / 2:13 pm

    Great read, thanks for sharing, may the Lord continue to give you guys peace,wisdom and strength in your home,God bless you

  4. Critique
    January 22, 2019 / 5:18 pm

    While it is important to prioritize your husband, find time for your good, time-tested friends. They will be your community and support system. When rough times come, and they will, you will appreciate having a community to fall back on. Also, it will help you maintain your true self. Very important for women not to lose themselves in, and become wholly defined by being married

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:51 pm

      Sure! after I find time with my husband. I’m still trying to enjoy him lol

  5. January 23, 2019 / 8:46 am

    You have always been my inspiration. God bless you

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:50 pm

      Awww thank you! God bless you

  6. Ama
    January 23, 2019 / 9:55 am

    Great insight on the changes & I believe changes are expected since the two have become one. Thanks for being transparent and straight to the point

  7. Ahema Abrokwah
    January 23, 2019 / 10:38 am

    Exactly on point. We just celebrated 7 years this December and all of these things still hold true. Counseling was a blessing. Opened our eyes to soo much.
    Your doing great newlywed!! The time will fly fast so enjoy every minute of your marriage and each other and continue to let God lead you.

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:50 pm

      Wow what a blessing! Thanks for reading! Amen!

  8. January 23, 2019 / 11:19 am

    Thank you for this amazing blog post. I am getting married in the next few months by the grace of God and I believe these tips will help me as a God fearing woman.

  9. Olatanye
    January 23, 2019 / 5:31 pm

    You got me laughing the way you described how you pray for your enemies. You are so right. You have to stop them before they stop you. God bless you!

    • Christina Kwarteng
      Author
      January 28, 2019 / 9:50 pm

      Hahahah

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