Sharing what happens when you go ahead of God!
Before I share my birth story, I would like to make a disclaimer that I wouldn’t change a thing about my pregnancy or my labor and delivery experience. And this isn’t me complaining in any way. As always, I share my testimonies to help others. Whether you’re pregnant, believing God for a baby, or already with children, I’m sure this post will bless you!
My pregnancy was fairly smooth. I did experience a lot of nausea in my first trimester but thank God I never had to throw up. My second trimester was the best as I had the most energy and little to no sickness. My third trimester was great as well, until the last month or so. I was fatigued and getting little sleep due to discomfort. During the last two weeks of my pregnancy, I had extreme pain near my right rib cage. As I drew nearer to my due date of September 29th, I grew more weary and decided to go to the hospital.
On Saturday, September 28th I checked into the hospital because I was in serious pain and wanted to make sure baby was doing well. They advised me the baby was leaning on my right rib cage and there was no reason to be alarmed. I was measuring at 1 cm dilated and because I wanted a natural delivery, I wouldn’t be admitted into hospital although my due date was the next day.
I went home feeling really down. In my mind, I really wanted to hear that it was go time so when they told me it wasn’t, I knew the chances of my daughter coming on her due date was unlikely. Although my OBGYN advised my due date was + or – 2 weeks, I did not believe my daughter would come after my due date. In hindsight, I wish I did more research about due dates and pregnancy in general. If you’re pregnant for the first time, please read this NY Times Article about the reality of pregnancy due dates.
Sunday, September 29th came around and there was no baby in sight. I had my 40 week check up on Monday, September 30th with my OBGYN. She advised that my cervix appeared softer, and my baby was estimated to be 8 pounds or more. She mentioned that I had a 4o percent chance of a c- section because my baby was posterior. Posterior babies are positioned face up and attempt to come through the birth canal in that position. Because my baby was bigger than most babies, she was having difficulty coming down the birth canal.
Hearing this news really crushed me. Before even conceiving, I was believing God for a supernatural childbirth. I not only heard the testimonies of other Christian women giving birth naturally, but I read Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mitze and had built up my faith to receive what I was believing God for. Because I told my doctor I was in extreme discomfort, she suggested I get checked in and use pitocin to augment my labor. Pitocin (oxytocin injection) is a natural hormone that causes the uterus to contract used to induce labor, strengthen labor contractions during childbirth, control bleeding after childbirth, or to induce an abortion. My husband and I thought it may be a good idea so we returned to the hospital. The doctor on call at the hospital asked me to explain why I wanted to be admitted, and upon telling him what happened, he suggested I go home and labor naturally. He mentioned that because I desired a natural birth, there was no need to go ahead and augment my labor. My body will do that work for me when the time was right, he suggested. Crushed and disappointed once again, we made our way back home, with no baby.
The following morning, I went on a walk with hopes that baby will be annoyed with movements and come down. I prayed that the Lord would hear my cries and make Chloe come down. However, before I could wait for the answer to my prayers, I decided I would take matters into my own hands and get the pitocin. My husband and I returned to hospital, this time, determined to not return home without a baby. I received the pitocin and started getting contractions regularly 2- 3 minutes apart.
After approximately 12 hours of laboring naturally, the doctor on call advised that I still wasn’t progressing remaining at 1- 1.5 cm dilated. She broke my water but to no avail I still didn’t progress. I eventually requested for an epidural because I didn’t know how much longer I could labor naturally. The contractions were about level 8/10 and happening 2- 3 minutes apart. I was extremely tired and hungry and desperately needed an hour or two of sleep. After the epidural, the doctor advised that I needed a c- section because the baby was not going to come down the birth canal. My pelvic was extremely narrow and my baby, weighing at 8 lbs, was getting stuck in the birth canal. The doctor also mentioned her head was molding to a cone shape as she attempted to come down. Now although, I didn’t want a c-section, I had to ensure baby was safe and healthy so I agreed to the operation, filled with tears.
Glory be to God, the surgery was a success. However, I was still shaken up about the entire ordeal. After the operation, I suffered from preeclampsia- a condition that presents in pregnancy characterized by high blood pressure. In order to manage my preeclampsia, I was given magnesium sulfate and not allowed to eat. I remained bed bound and wasn’t allowed to be with my baby over night unless my mother stayed with me at the hospital.
As you can imagine, I felt like a total failure. Although grateful for ushering new life into this world, I felt I failed God, my husband, and my baby. I couldn’t wrap my head around why this experience happened to me eventhough I felt I prayed adequately about having a supernatural child birth. Was this God’s will for my life? Did I do something wrong?
After a few weeks of adjusting to motherhood and recovering pretty swiftly from my c- section, the Lord revealed to me why I had a c- section. I wasn’t attacked by the devil. It wasn’t a bloodline curse that was following me. I simply went ahead of God and didn’t let my works match the faith I claimed to have. Although I was praying and believing God for a quick and speedy vaginal birth, without the assistance of any medication, I wanted it to happen on my OWN time.
The Bible says in James 2: 14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? Although I had the utmost faith in God to give me the desires of my heart since those desires matched His perfect will for my life, I didn’t let my actions (or my works) match that faith. Even though my estimated due date had passed, I had reasoned in my mind that I could still have a supernatural childbirth while augmenting labor. I believed my time was better than God’s time and my ways were better than His.
But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. Galatians 4: 4-5
It was this exact scripture that came to mind when the Lord was showing me where I went wrong. I didn’t allow the fullness of time to manifest before giving birth to Chloe. The Bible assures us that there is a time and a season for everything. However, if we don’t allow things to happen during the fullness of time, we suffer far more than the Lord desires for us to suffer.
I truly believe now that had I waited to labor naturally at home, Chloe would have come out swiftly and without any assistance, just as I was believing God to happen. The sufferings I experienced at that present time wasn’t worthy enough to be compared to the glory that the Lord wanted to reveal in me (Romans 8:18). As a result of my impatience, I suffered much more and much longer than I needed to and God’s perfect will for my life wasn’t established.
Although I went ahead of God, I am so glad that God is so merciful and gracious to allow everything to still work out for my good. Maybe Chloe was not born the way I wanted her to be born, but she still came at the perfect time. She was born on October 2, 2019, the same day Eric and I celebrated our three year anniversary of being together. Although she did not come into this world without assistance, she came the way she needed to come so that I can stand and give this testimony for others to learn a valuable lesson!
When you go ahead of God, you SUFFER more than the Lord wants you to suffer. You cause yourself to be inconvenienced, and most importantly, you end up being out of the perfect will of God. And when you operate out of the perfect will of God, you risk the chance of being attacked by the devil.
If you’re pregnant, or are believing God for a baby in the future, please take note of the following:
- Your estimated due date is JUST THAT – An estimate. Baby may come two weeks before or after that date. Allow your body to labor naturally or you’ll risk the chance of having a c-section.
- Educate yourself on pregnancy, labor, and delivery. It is so much easier to manage everything when you truly understand what your body is experiencing. The bible says in all thy getting get understanding. When you understand the changes of your body, you won’t be alarmed when strange things happen.
- Match your faith with WORKS/ACTION. Don’t be just lip service. If you believe God for something, be sure to act on your belief!
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