That time a man ghosted on me because he didn’t like the food I made him.
Mr. Peprah Photography
WHAT I’M WEARING:
Imad Eduso Pants Set ; Manolo Blahnik Pumps
Yesterday for Memorial Day, I made lasagna for the family. It reminded me of the time I made lasagna several, several years ago for a man I was dating. If you know anything about lasagna, it must be cooled before serving. You cannot take lasagna out of the oven and serve it immediately for eating because the layers, cheeses, and sauces would literally fall over the place. Lasagna must cool and mold into place. But this particular boy was visiting me from NYC while I lived in Philly. He was hungry and obviously not interested in taking me out for a meal so he requested I make him food . When the lasagna was finished, he wanted to be served immediately although I advised he should wait.
After the weekend, I didn’t hear from the boy. He went ghost on me and wasn’t pursuing me as he was prior to visiting. I had no idea why and refused to make any conclusions. A few days later, my best friend came to visit and I served her the SAME lasagna I made for the boy. My best friend was actually the person who introduced the boy to me so when I told her that I hadn’t heard from him, she decided to reach out to him and find out why.
The boy told my friend that he was no longer interested because he didn’t like my food, AND I wasn’t “freaky enough” for him. God , always finding ways to work everything out from my good, allowed my best friend to defend me, informing said boy that she tried the exact same lasagna days later and loved it. When my best friend told me what the boy said, I was in complete shock. I was a bit embarrassed that someone who speak so poorly of my cooking, but encouraged to know that my inability to please someone sexually was the vain reason someone didn’t want to pursue me any longer.
I didn’t understand back then, but I now understand that it wasn’t God’s will for me to extend marital benefits to a boy I wasn’t married to. In the same year, I received my first recalled prophetic word from a prophetess that I was forbidden fruit, and while I’d be pleasurable to look at, I wouldn’t be good for consumption for any man who wasn’t my husband. The problem with many women/ girls today is that we look for acceptance and validation from everyone besides God. We desperately want men to see that we are capable of being wives or wifey material and do things we don’t even want to do.
When Ruth in the Bible was gleaning grains in the field of Boaz, she didn’t do so with the intentions of trying to be seen by Boaz or any man for that matter. She was doing so because she was a selfless woman with a great character. ( read the book of Ruth in the Bible ) The interesting thing about Ruth minding her business and being herself is she was noticed by Boaz who inquired about who she was. When he was told who she was, he rather did something for HER by telling them not to trouble her and leave extra grain in the field for her to continue to glean from.
When Rachel was minding her business doing her shepherdess duties, Jacob saw her and instantly loved her. The Bible says in Genesis 29 that Jacob rolled the stone from the well and watered the flock for Rachel and her father. He then went on to work 14 years for her father for her hand in marriage. Seems like men in the Bible do the proving and women just be who they are… but who asked me?
When God brought Eve to Adam, it was actually Adam who called her his bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. He called her his wife before she did anything to confirm she was wifey material. She didn’t have to prove or fulfill any wife duties before he took her to be his wife. (Read Genesis 2)
A man does not marry you because of what you do for him. A man marries you because of who you are. If you have a pressure to prove who you are in order to get the approval of a man, you don’t know who you are. When people ask me how I knew I was ready to be a wife, I tell them that I was born a wife and mother. I just had to wait for the fullness of time to come in order for it to manifest. I never had to prove to my husband that I was ready and capable of being his wife. And neither should you.
If you’re going to cook for a man, do it because you enjoy cooking for yourself, and you just want him to taste your delicious meal. Don’t prepare a meal solely for your boyfriend because he is hungry. A hungry man who is not your husband should make his own meal or invite you to share one with him at a restaurant.
I once heard a man say that he must have sex before marriage because nobody buys a car without test driving it. I told him I purchased my first car without a test drive because a BMW that comes with the car fax is a BMW with car fax. I don’t need to test drive it to know that it is indeed a BMW and to confirm the fax it comes with. Furthermore, a car depreciates the immediate second it is driven off the lot. A car with 0 miles is always more valued than a car with a +1 mileage. And last but not least, any man who likens a woman to a car is a man who doesn’t comprehend God’s masterpiece that is a woman.
Ladies, you are worth more than a vehicle. You are worth precious rubies and precious stones. Don’t give a man a sample of what belongs to your husband. Don’t depreciate yourself for a man who wants to test drive you, your cooking or anything else that should be reserved for the one.