Testimony Tuesday: How I Prayed for a Husband

One of my most frequently asked question on Instagram.

Mr. Peprah Photography

WHAT I’M WEARING:

Cardigan: Zara ; Blouse: H&M ; Jeans: Fully Covered Still Fly (now on sale) ; Shoes: Valentino ; Bag: Coach ; Sunglasses: Givenchy ; Hat: Forever 21

Before we get started with today’s testimony Tuesday post, I want to briefly discuss this little- effort- stylish outfit. I never realized how much I needed a long cardigan until I moved into our house in the northeast. As you may know, it can get extremely cold here; this cardigan dubs as a blanket inside and a stylish number outside! Also, now that outside is open again and you’ll more than likely be traveling, think about how convenient a maxi cardigan will be on the plane?! See a few I love at different price points down below:

Okay- right on to what you’re probably here for: the prayers I prayed to get my husband. So, if you’ve been a Christina Kwarteng reader for some time ( JustMissedtheRunway days) then you know I’m no stranger to the heartbreak life. I’ve had my share of disappointments as it relates to men. But one thing I almost always held onto was the fact that there was a husband out there for me.

Lots of my previous relationships left me insecure and untrusting of men. The kind of men [boys is probably more appropriate here] that I entertained and dated was a very clear indication that I didn’t know my worth or what was inside of me. But even in not knowing who I am, I never once thought God wouldn’t give me one of the biggest desires of my heart – a husband.

With this mindset, I was a step closer to receiving a gift God had always intended to give me. I’ll have you know, this mindset did not come naturally. It was shaped by having a knowledge of the word of God.

“…But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.” James 1: 6-7 KJV Although these scriptures contextually refer to asking God with faith for wisdom, I believe it applies to asking God for ANYTHING…even those things that are not according to His will. The concept to grasp here is that it is totally pointless to approach God when you don’t believe He can or will do it for you. While asking God to bring you [because I don’t believe you should go and get one yourself] your husband, be sure that you have faith in Him to do it for you- despite your age or circumstances.

One thing that Jesus will do, by the work of the Holy Spirit, is expose you. The Spirit of God’s work is to convict the world regarding sin, righteousness and judgement. “But I tell you the truth, it is for your benefit that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And when He comes, He will convict the world in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment” John 16:8.

 When I got saved ( like really saved…not whatever I thought I was before 2013), and the Holy Spirit came to reside in me, He began a sanctifying process of exposing parts of me that were against the knowledge of Him. Personality traits, characteristics, behavioral patterns, demons. He started showing me areas in which I needed change and deliverance. And with this knowledge, I asked Him to do the necessary work in me so that I can actually be prepared for the kind of husband I desired. I would not say I was totally delivered and transformed before I got married. I still struggle with a few insecurities now. But those changes were taking place before I even met my husband. I needed to be aware that I needed  transformation before meeting Eric so that I would take RESPONSIBILITY in the case we had misunderstandings or issues in our marriage. BTW glory be to God we have little to none of those now- ain’t God a good God?

My prayers were VERY clear and direct because having dated a few bad apples, I knew exactly what I did not want in a husband. The Bible says  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you Matthew 7:7. Perhaps  some think it is crazy, but I was crazy enough to believe God would give me exactly what I was believing Him for. For example, I specifically prayed for a believer who was on fire for God and really good with finances. I’m in church at minimum 3x a week so there was just absolutely no way I could marry a lukewarm christian. I knew the call of God on my life and desired to marry a man with a call as well.

I don’t share that to encourage you to marry a man called by God for ministry. I share that to show you that I knew where God was taking me and refused to settle for a “nice handsome man” just because I was desperate. Unless you truly know my husband; unless you are discerning, you won’t understand the anointing he carries. You may not know that He is also called to the fivefold ministry and comes from a household that has been preparing him for that from his infancy. When the Lord brought Eric to me, I didn’t see it at first because he was so focused on completing school, but the fruit was there and the desire for spiritual things was also there.

The last thing I would honestly say positioned me for my husband was living a holy life and being head deep in purpose. My husband found me on Facebook while I was sharing modest style, practicing celibacy and preaching the Gospel. I wasn’t on a dating app looking for love (no shade, truly). I wasn’t at a wedding looking at the left hand of handsome men to see if they were married. I was minding my marketplace ministry business. This isn’t to say love caught me by surprise. Everyone who knows me knows I was always receiving of love! But you should note that I handed my marriage desire to Jesus, received peace and confirmation that He would answer, and went about my way. I didn’t have to stalk my prayers to make sure they got answered. God is the One Who watches over His Word to perform it.

During my wait, I served God, worked, traveled, got degrees, celebrated others (a word for another day!) and lived my life. But another thing that took place as I continued to mind my business was my husband praying and searching for ME! I understand the assumption that women, like Ciara prayed for their Russells… but sis let me in on a little secret. Men like my husband, and men like Russell Wilson are praying for women like us. They carry vision for godly marriages and have planned their lives well to include women like us. Godly women don’t find godly men. Godly women get found. So while you are praying and believing God for your Godly husband, remember that your Godly husband is doing the same for YOU.

DO NOT EVER MARRY A MAN WHO GUESSES TO MARRY YOU. Let him MAKE IT KNOWN the intentions he has for you two. Let him visit your father. Let him LEAD YA’LL down the aisle. You don’t need to pressure nobody to be your husband.